Anonymity. Like other 12-Step programs, ETA is based on the principle of anonymity—which requires that we guard the identity of other ETA members. We don’t tell anyone who we saw at a meeting or what we heard. Those going through recovery from extreme thinking are often concerned, understandably, about sharing our experiences and the consequences of our thinking. So, we protect our fellow ETAs as we would protect our own family, shielding them from scrutiny and judgement with the promise of anonymity.

Each ETA member, though, is free to break our own anonymity to whomever we choose. That said, it’s suggested that we develop a solid foundation of recovery before revealing our involvement with ETA to anyone but our closest family and friends. We also take care to first examine our motives before speaking with others: our motives should be true, and consistent with the principles of our recovery.

Unlike other 12-Step programs that may discourage disclosure at a public level, ETA has a different approach. Our view is that once we’ve had an extended period of recovery from extreme thinking, we’re free to share our experience, strength and hope with a broader group. We can do this through social media or other platforms, if our motives are honorable and we are not seeking to gain recognition, influence or personal advancement. If those tests are met and we choose to describe our recovery to a larger group, we take special care not to break the anonymity of our fellow ETAs in the process: we need remind ourselves that the welfare of the group always comes first.

Social Media and News. When we reflect upon the evolution of our extreme thinking, many of us realize that we were unduly influenced by the news sources and the social media we frequented. We had immersed ourselves in messaging that amplified our views, avoiding those sources of information that might conflict with our increasingly rigid belief system. After repeated exposure to powerful, consistent messaging over a long period of time, our brains seemed to undergo a structural change: in effect, we had been rewired for extreme thinking.

To prepare our minds for recovery and a return to balanced thinking, we found that a temporary break from news and social media served us well. Many of us abstained entirely from all external sources of information for at least ninety days: we took a complete break from inputs that could reinforce our old thinking. We went on a mental fast, or sorts, giving our minds time to rest and heal.

After we had developed a strong foundation in ETA, when our balanced thinking had been restored, we were ready to re-engage with the world of information. When we returned to the news and social media, though, we did so with a different approach. We were careful in the information we consumed and how we reacted to it. We sought well-informed voices who were intellectually rigorous and honest—and we avoided those forms of extreme thinking that once transfixed us. As we connected in our recovery with different voices, sources and platforms, we looked for signs that we might be drawn back into our old ways. We shared our experiences with our fellow ETAs to reduce the chance of a return to darker times. Wishing to remain balanced, we kept no secrets. We remained vigilant.

A New Way of Speaking. When we were actively engaged in extreme thinking, we were rarely bashful about expressing our views. With great confidence, we announced our beliefs to friends, family and co-workers—and often loudly ridiculed the views of those who did not agree with us. But something changed when we first came to ETA. To our surprise and discomfort, many of us found that we were reluctant to speak, sometimes even incapable of forming words. But fear not, as our newfound reserve is the first sign of our recovery. As we begin to connect with the ETA community, we discover a humility that is the bedrock of our recovery. Our voice will surely return—and when it does, we find that we speak with an authenticity and a thoughtfulness that used to escape us. We let go of the righteous certainty and the excess of our old ways: we replace black-and-white thinking with a more nuanced, measured view of the world and of other people. Seeking moderation in our tone and in our speech, we come to understand that words matter.